Holy Cow! I Want To Marry Him!

Lamborghini, Rolex and Calvin Klein might just be some of the signs of modern day affluence for a man. While this is by no means a definitive list, a man possessing and brandishing items of such calibre would generate some kind of image amongst all concerned.

So how does marriage come in to the picture? Well in many societies (well pretty much all!) especially those that are less developed a woman might be more inclined to chose to marry a man who has more wealth. Pretty natural tendency once all romantic notions are swept aside by the harsh realities of survival. I must stress that this is by no means a definitive rule of thumb.

But in times long past, in countries like Rwanda and quite possibly other African nations the signs of wealth were vastly different. In fact a man was considered wealthy or upper class if he possessed three cows. Yes… that’s what I said… three cows. Somehow I can’t imagine any modern day woman going gaga over a man’s cows regardless of their calibre.

Now women aren’t the only ones who would be swept under the phenomenon. If you’re a man, then imagine looking over to your neighbour’s house with envy at the sight of three cows. Or should you be the lucky one, perhaps you would stand in your yard and utter “Come behold ye… gaze upon my cows and weep!”

So I suppose the times may change as do the symbols of wealth, but the people and their behaviours do not.

Taken from http://www.maryellenbertram.com

Disclaimer 1: Cows have probably been important across the globe in ancient times.

Disclaimer 2: Finances are always an important part of marriages for obvious reasons.

Muscles from Brussels

A long time ago when I was little kid, there used to be a guy I had no respect for whatsoever. His name was Jean Claude Van Damme. My brother and I used to laugh endlessly whilst watching a few of his movies, most notably Double Impact and Street Fighter.

We would constantly mimic his peculiar French accent with lines such as “We will rendezvous at O Si-eex Hun-dret” (O six hundred).  Needless to say, he was always somewhat of a joke.

He’s in this movie TWICE!

So with the recent action movie mega explosion that is The Expendables which I’m pretty sure will be a campy flick it was interesting that Van Damme decided to sit out. It was at this point that I remembered the film JCVD and decided to see it.

Surprised is definitely the word I would use. While it isn’t out of this world material it’s definitely something not manufactured through the cookie cutter process. The film (for those of you who don’t already know) involves Jean Claude playing himself in what is sort of a semi-reality, and revolves around a bank robbery.

One interesting point was where Mr. Van Damme tries to give his two cents, but the person doesn’t even look at him in the face, casually dismissing him with the line “yeah yeah… I’ll ask you if I need some stretching tips.”

More surprising is the fact that the man can actually act. Apparently his problem was always English. In the movie he speaks his native French. It is easily his best film, not hard to achieve… all things considered. As I was prepared to write off the movie as being just ‘alright’ the most important scene crops up close to the end.

This scene elevates the movie significantly whilst featuring a staggering total of 0 explosions and 0 special effects. Suffice to say you’ll never look at Van Damme the same way again. Make no mistake the movie drags at times and is far from perfect but overall it’s pretty good.

I’d put the most pivotal scene here, but on its own its effect is somewhat lost. You have to see the entire thing for yourself I guess…

A serious Van Damme movie? An Oyxmoron?

Why do we blog?

What do you get out of it? What’s the return? These are just some of the questions I’ve seen raised at to the pointlessness of blogging. After all you’re not going to get any money out of it.

But the answer to the question is actually pretty simple. Why do anything? Why does an author sit down and take the time to write a book or novel? Why do poets write poetry? Do they sit down and think ‘I need to make money… better write a book.’ While I’m sure there are people out there who do exactly that, the majority are more likely under a compulsion to do so.

What does this mean? This means that they have a desire to create something and share it with other people by having them reading it. It’s the sharing of beliefs and the expression of ideas. Others comment and add to your output, sometimes validating it, sometimes debunking it.

It’s not always about the money. People draw, sing, dance, snap photos and do so many other things for free. These are all things that don’t necessarily give any monetary return, but the people performing these acts enjoy doing them. What else do you need to do something… isn’t that the bare requirement?

Knowing Yourself

We spend so much time in our lives getting to know other people, but what about getting to know ourselves?

The one person you can never see from an external viewpoint is you. In fact you may be completely oblivious about the things you do until someone else points them out or you see them for yourself.

It is this lack of self perception that forces us to look to others to ascertain where we stand. Without comparison how do you know if you are smart, fast, tall or any other characteristic? If you were the only person on the planet you would never have any way of knowing, because those characteristics are relative to other people.

As we go through life we learn a lot about ourselves. Characteristics we believed we had may prove false while others we never knew existed might manifest themselves.

One thing is for certain… you as a person are not static. The events of every day continuously change you causing a gradual evolution from one form to the next. Hopefully… you’re learning and getting better each day.

Momentum of Life

It’s a strange thing. Keep doing something and its much easier to keep doing it. But suddenly the moment you stop, the moment you begin to put it off till later, suddenly its begins to get harder and harder. The more you delay, the harder it is to get back in to it. It seems to hold true regardless of what you’re doing, whether its studying, exercising, writing or whatever else.

I suppose its just the body and the mind getting used to things as it eventually adapts. It all depends on the newness of the experience. A friend of mine once wanted to become a nude model, but she said she was kinda shy to start. So I said it’ll be weird the first few times but after that you’ll get used to it. And that’s pretty much the same story for just about anything that a person can do.

Unfortunately the same holds true for a lot of negative behaviours including killing. Seasoned killers don’t blink or think about killing too much. That’s one of the worst things about war, it trains a large number of people to become killers and get used to it on a regular basis. I suppose you can’t wait to see if the other guy is going to shoot first cos then you’ll be dead. Problems really do arise when soldiers are forced to return to civilian lifestyles.

Anyway it seems that if you really want to do something and I mean really… you just keep at it. Even though you suck at the start, the only way you become good at it is by continuously doing it over and over again and someday somewhere you’ll find that you’re no longer half bad at this. But if you look for perfection from the start, then you’ll never get there.

Failed Relationships

"I love you too honey!"

So you’ve been in a relationship for x amount of years now. Things used to be good and you couldn’t remember being happier. But then suddenly one day you wake up realize you’re not the same person anymore. Even scarier you realize that the relationship you’re in no longer works for you. The magic has long past and you’re still in it because… well just because you were in it yesterday.

Suddenly you think  maybe you should break away and start anew… but you’re afraid to let go of the past. But is there any point in holding on to something that is long gone? Just going through the motions when things are quite dead? Pretending things are the way they used to be and just holding on to memories? I would argue that the answer is a resounding no.

So many people stick in their marriages just because its convention and getting divorced, (especially for women) is a huge social stigma. Sure it’s not like that whole lets throw myself on my Husband’s flaming coffin kind of thing, but its sorta there.

But getting divorced is a huge ‘there’s something wrong with me. I can’t remain in a marriage. I am taboo.’ But really considering how hard it is to maintain a good relationship is it such a wonder that so many relationships fail? They fail on a regular basis… in fact we should have one of those clocks that says “x amounts of relationships have failed in the last 1 minute”.

I dunno. Personally I’d rather be dead than be stuck in a horrible relationship for life with someone I hate or even worse, someone I find ‘so so’. Why is ‘so so’ worse? Well quite simply you can’t even get the satisfaction of hating that person for being the slimeball that they are because maybe they are actually just plain nice if not ultimately boring. You’d just end up feel guilty.

Why So Thin?

Why do some women just insist on being so damn thing? Like for example I saw this movie recently with Jennifer Love Hewitt and she was so damn thin. Fine a six pack and all is great… but what is the point if your face looks like Skeletor?

Drop 'DEAD' Gorgeous

I just don’t get the trade off here. I always thought a little fleshy and TONED was a lot better than an actual six pack… the thought of which on a women is somewhat gross to me.

The Jackman Bod

Taken right off my screen!

Well after playing Wolverine Origins (the game) and seeing a perfect 3D reconstruction of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine sans his shirt… I wanna have a body like that! All guys can work out… but not everyone looks this good. Some bodies pack on muscle in an ugly manner… but the Jackman is perfect in my opinion. Also massive props for pulling off a hairy muscular body on the big screen and still having women love you!

Of course to get such a body quite a gruelling task is required involving three hours of exercise a day, a controlled diet that heavily features boiled food and avoiding other indulgences….

Relationship Central

Having spoken to many people about their relationships recently it seems that most people regret the relationships that they’ve entered. However the people that I spoke to about this were all women… seems kinda hard to get anything out of guys for some strange reason.

Anyway from a guy perspective I suppose that the emotional side is somewhat less important than it is to a woman. But I wonder about whether guys actually regret or celebrate all the physical stuff they did with the assumption that a relationship brings physical things with it.

Or do the guys themselves regret their past relationships or is it really a notch on the belt? The women really don’t seem to want notches on their belt at all. A lot of women have been telling me that there’s no point in having ‘had’ a relationship because it failed. So what’s the point? But the guys might be counting the notches so I don’t really know.

Regardless it’s really hard to find something that will last a long time. I suppose I’ve been holding out eternally and will continue to do so.  Some wise person said that I have a long time to find someone… I replied that I have a long time to live alone!

Who knows… but the biggest question mark is the physical aspect of a relationship. Though I personally don’t think I wouldn’t appreciate the rest of a relationship though… but that’s pure conjecture.

Inspirational Message Follows:

Yeah... ain't that Right!

32 E

Damn... That's Big!

32 E… not is not a new phone or computer. Those are the measurements of a lady I met recently. My eyes blinked quite a few times… damn… that’s big! For some reason my eyes roved ‘here’ and ‘there’ out of my own volition. I really just can’t explain it…

Anyway breast sizes seem to be of some consternation for many women, especially those less equipped and desiring a pair of juggies. But really the 32 E was just too damn big! Bouncing around and all gets your attention, but beyond that…?

The smaller breast has a few upsides in reality though. Woman with big boobies tend to suffer from inevitable backpain… a price of packing big un’s. Second bigger boobies tend to sag especially with age while smaller ones remain upright and pert (lots of guys prefer that- we do talk about somethings!). Lastly one quote that I can never forget… “smaller breasts are better because you can put more of it in your mouth!”. You’ll get no argument from me there!

Then there are those people who get literal watermelons through surgery… I don’t know about you, but I feel like losing my lunch at those. Can you say ‘out of proportion’?

I’m not entirely sure what ‘pert’ means exactly but it seems like the inword. Let’s let Merriam Webster have a stab at it:

1 a : saucily free and forward : flippantly cocky and assured b : being trim and chic : jaunty <a pert little hat> c : piquantly stimulating <is a pert notion>
2 : lively, vivacious

— pert·ly adverb

— pert·ness noun

Peace. Out.